Visionary

fwmp@mac.com

 

As I flew over the Mediterranean from England and entered the lands of Egypt, As clear as day a telepathic message came to me with no words, just a form of pure energy transferring the message and its translation was this: “I needed to get grounded. I needed to ground myself. Plant my feet back on the earth”

Next, what ran through me after hearing this initial message on the plane, were overlapping telepathic thoughts, explaining that the reason I had to ground was because …

“You have things to fullfill within yourself.
This is a very personal journey.
You have to realize your gifts, gain confidence, stand strong.
You have a Heart to give which would help lift humanity in this physicality.”

The seeking we each strive for will never be found in the external.
For what is eternal, what has always been ‘in’ternal, can never be lost, only found.
A personal journey? Yes, indeed it is.

Details of the ‘brief’ below, what occurred in-between the lines of this one human life forever unfolding, are in my forthcoming book(s).

Life so far on Earth

I was born at Luke Air Force Base Hospital:
14185 Falcon Street, Luke Air Force Base, Arizona
Latitude: 33 541 488
Longitude: -112.375502
Time: 4:09 pm

Interesting that I was born in a world always preparing for war, when all she adores is peace. I grew up in Europe, that being England, Spain and Southern Bavaria, Germany. My father was an officer/instructor fighter pilot in the Air Force for twenty seven years, retiring in Phoenix where I finished my last four years of schooling at the age of eighteen. My father was the first one born in America from England. His mother was Norwegian and father English. My mother was Scottish, Irish, English, and whom on her side am related to the poet Sir Thomas Wyatt from King Henry the VIII’s court.

Aunt Marion and Bette Davis
My Aunt Marion and I were like twin souls, very close, and deeply connected. My father used to say that I reminded him of his sister. Which leads me to the connection with Bette Davis through a marriage. Bette’s third husband, Artist William Grant Sherry (1945-1950), fathered Bette’s only natural child, B.D.. Grant divorced Bette and married Marion, which is a Hollywood story in and of itself.

Marion Richards lived with Bette and Grant for almost two years at their home in Laguna Beach, California, working as B.D.’s nursemaid. How this position was offered to Marion, accepted, and what enfolded in her life at this time, is quite the story alone. Like a movie within a movie really.

The experiences my beloved Aunt Marion has intimately shared with me about her life growing up, leaving home at the age of sixteen due to abuse, becoming one of “Harpers Bazaare’s” first models, meeting stars such as Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, among many of her other personal encounters with Hollywood’s elite, and the synchronistic meeting with Bette, are moving, touching, endearing, and awe inspiring.

She would say to herself when seeing family’s together on the street or out in public; “I wish I could have a family like that“. Incredible. A lady in her own right, someone I admire enormously, with a will, heart, kindness, and spirit of an angel.

One particular very funny story with Bette I’ll share, and I have this conversation with my Aunt recorded from our hours and hours of phone conversations.

Marion arrived home (Laguna Beach House) late one evening getting ready for bed. Bette entered her bedroom demanding Marions attention to do something, to which she replied in her naturally eloquent soft voice; “Well, I don’t start work until tomorrow morning.” Bette continued with persistence shouting that if she did not do what was being asked of her at this moment she would be fired. Marion, again in her amazingly gifted manner with angelic will, replied: “You can’t fire me because I quit.” Bette stormed out of Marions room in a huff.

To Marions surprise, the next morning Bette brought her breakfast in bed. 🙂

Snow Skiing! A forever love.
I was going to be a professional freestyle skier. Broke my leg at the age of 11 in Berchtesgaden, Southern Bavaria. Grew to have a love for the sport, was president of the Ski Club in High School and after graduating left straight away for Utah and Lake Tahoe to fulfil that dream.

Currently Breathing.

On My Way
I was married in 1987 to my first husband and friend, Randy Buzzelli, the father of our beloved daughter, Alexandria.

The Catalysts
The catalyst that really began my journey onto another path was when my world shattered beneath my feet with the murder of my younger brother, Robert, on October 12, 1984. He was twenty-three and I was twenty-four. I went from one hundred pounds (100) to seventy eight (78) in one month. Broken hearts do exist. This was a real tough one to get through and I almost didn’t make it. As most do from my own research into this area of experience, I was blasted into the purveying questions … “Who Am I?”, “Why Am I here?”, “What is this about?”, “Where do I come from?” and “Where the hell did my little brother go?”

I was suicidal and did not want to be here anymore. I lost all will to live.
Breathing was torture and feeling my heart beat was a nightmare.
I died with my brother, however, senses were still in full operation.
I never attempted suicide, yet, was very close to my heart. It just hurt to be alive.
I would rather not live, than to feel this kind of feeling, ever again.

I describe it this way. I am standing on one side of a turbulent stream and the other side is total peace. I could see it yet, could not quite reach it. It took five years and sometimes I had one foot on the rock and one in the water dangling by a thread, yet, I made it to the other side of Peace.

It happened five years later to the very month of October. I was on my knees in my apartment praying to god to please let my heart stop when something incredible happened. There was what I would call an external intervention. It was so powerful. The only way to describe it, is like having an intense energy that literally came out of the blue and slapped me up the back side of my head like phooomph! In an instant the dark world I lived in for the last five years slammed shut, and … “Pamela” came back. You could not put a cigarette paper between the “Pamela” that wished to die one minute and the “Pamela” that was now setting goals and attaining every single one of them. My family was bewildered although now happy.

Later in my journey looking back at all of this I asked where is “free will”?
My ‘will’ at that time wanted to die.
Something intervened as if to say, nope, not your time to go for you have other things to do.
All I can say is we are not alone and Life is becoming more brilliant with every step along the way.
More brilliant with every rock, like stepping stones coming and going.
As I continue to cross over line after line real-eye-sing (realizing) how much further I can go.
And every step I take UPlifts me higher and higher for I won’t have it any other way. Now sharing.

Robert came to me telepathically very profoundly in 1997 in Cancun. [Details will be in forthcoming book]

Mother
My mother, Annis Elaine, crossed over from cancer on November 23, 2003 during a Total Solar Eclipse.

There is an amazingly intense, sad, excruciatingly painful, yet, beautiful story that flows alongside this involving a good friend (author) Dannion Brinkley, who played a pivotal part on this day at a critical moment helping the transition and letting go for my mother and all of us peacefully.

As my husband was speaking during a full day talk in North Carolina, my mother was leaving her physical form in a hospice in Scottsdale, Arizona, where I left her only two days before to meet up with him thinking I would see her again?

My mother was coming to me in dreams very profoundly, vividly, and lucidly, months prior to this. She was calling.

I flew to Phoenix from my home in England to be with my Mother during this time. It was surreal. For two weeks I was there sleeping in the guest room next to the room my mother was in with one eye open all the time listening to her every move.

She had to leave the master bedroom with my father because the bed was uncomfortable for her. I would hear her and get up walking to the bathroom with her.

One night I asked her if I could lie in bed with her and she so gently said, ‘yes’, just don’t move. The love that was there was incredible and passed beyond words. I looked at her hand holding it saying; “Mom, I’ve always loved your hands and thought they were so beautiful”.

She had those age spots but I looked at them as freckles giggling.

There really is no describing moments like this.

The day came when she was going to hospice for she needed IV morphine for the pain. I drove the car with my father in the passenger seat and mom in the back. Never knowing hospice is where people go to die? Lost is putting it mildly.

Mom was already flying on her way out. This was a Thursday.
As she was settled in, morphine given, Dad and I sat there and she said so kindly after a while:

“Now, you two go have some dinner.”
Almost insisting that we leave, so we did in loving her.

I remember a funny feeling come over me as I stood at the door not wanting to walk away.

My father did not like to see me cry, yet, I did, not wanting to leave.

I did not know hospice was a place where people went to die?

I thought I would be coming back to see her.

On some level knowing where she was going and wanted to fly with her.

What we learn in this place is written somehow.
Whether scribed or not, it happens.

I had to fly out on Friday, to meet up with my husband in North Carolina, where he was speaking on the Saturday.

One can only imagine the state I was in. My mother was ‘there’, and I was ‘here’.

Taught me so much.
Tis’ why I always said to my daughter when I was away …
“Love has no separation.” I’m always with you.

When I arrived in N.C. at the hotel on the Friday …
I set the alarm to get up in the Saturday morning.
My mother was coming to me in my dreams prior to this.
Calling me. Getting my attention and I listened.
I could not sleep Friday night.
I got up in the wee hours and walked into the adjacent room.
Something was telling me to call hospice (it was my mother I know). I did.

Nurse: We have been trying to get a hold of your father, your mother has taken a turn for the worse.
Pamela: What do you mean?
Nurse: Fluid has entered her lungs.
Pamela: Put me back to her!
Nurse: She won’t be able to hear you.
Pamela: Yes she will, put me back.
2nd Nurse: Holds phone to moms ear for 2 hours.
Pamela: Mom, I’m holding you in my arms. I’m not leaving until dad gets there. He is on his way.

I rocked my mother in my arms by phone for 2 hours talking with her.
Really tough and disturbing when you can hear her gurgling to breathe.

The family arrived and I passed it over to them as I had to go downstairs to the event.

She had a fear of drowning. Isn’t it another irony that this is how she died?
I don’t understand this? Why? Why would any human allow this to go on?
It is a good thing I was not at the hospice,
because I would have brought an end to her suffering quickly, more peacefully and kindly.

I was coming and going from the event up to the hotel room all day.
The whole time my mother was non responsive and non communicative.

On one of the event breaks my husband came off stage and was caught signing books.

Dannion Brinkley, was standing across the room and looked directly at me.

He walked straight towards me with intent. It was a funny feeling but a knowing happening.

He said ‘What is going on?’I told him about my mother.
He said “You must get everyone around her, touching their hands on her letting her know it is okay to go.”
And he was wearing a hospice pin!
I immediately went upstairs to call.

My cousin answered the phone saying “Your mother is awake!”
Wow. My mother was awake. It was like someone not there and coming back!

It was so surreal and immensely difficult to bear.
They somehow worked out a signaling communication …
For ‘yes’, my mother would nod her head up and down,
for ‘no’ she would squeeze my cousin’s hand.

I asked my cousin to please place the phone to my mothers ear.
It was for enough time to ask her one question,
then pull the phone away and tell me what she signaled.

Pulling the phone away, I asked: “What was her response?
“She nodded yes”
My question was:
“Mom did you hear me talking with you for two hours this morning?”
I knew she was hearing me.

The phone was then passed to a family friend (Jeaneen).

I said “You need to get everyone around my mother, have them put their hands on her.
And peacefully allow her to fly, it is okay.
What Jeaneen said was absolutely perfect. ( I heard it)
Her prayer was magnificent. So beautiful.
My mother was also asking about Pamela her daughter, that somehow got through in her stressed state.
After this prayer and last call in to hospice, I went down for the final part of my husbands talk.

I was distraught on a level indescribable.
Ended up falling on the bed in the hotel room just wiped.
The phone rang. You would think I would jump. I didn’t.
It rang again.
It was my father telling me that mom was gone.
Only 15 minutes before the call.

What I found out from Jeaneen later was this:
After they all did the hands on prayer, saying it was ‘okay to go’ to my mother, all family left hospice.

My father and Jeaneen were the only ones in the room at this time.
My mother turned her head and Jeaneen asked my father to come around.

Kneeling by her side he was saying:
“it’s time to fly with the angels”
Jeaneen suggested he tell her that Pamela says it is okay to go.

He spoke these words to my mother:
“Pamela says it is okay to go.”
My mother took her last breath upon hearing this.

Where Heavens Meet

Phew! Okay jump to:
I am living my life, cruising along quite happily, and on Jan 6th, 1997 was fired from my accounting position, which forced me into my own business that I was wanting to do for a while. What happened over the next few months and then years blew me away. It was as if my life was being directed down a very specific path. One door was closing and another opening leading me to where I am today.

It’s what it was

In 1997, August, “life” took me to Jamaica for a conference.
It was here that I met David Icke, a British author, who was a speaker at the event.
I had no idea who he was nor what was about to unfold for both of us.

Upon arrival at the event I sat with five hundred other people in a room to hear this Englishman, one of the many speakers there over the weekend. Personally, this was incredibly eye opening. Here I was thinking I had all the answers about life, based on a religious view that I found while searching for answers after the death of my brother, and along comes something that shatters all my beliefs and because I want ‘truth’ in life no matter what, I was willing to follow my heart wherever it guided me. I was not one to drop anchor on any belief, even though I had one at the time, for I am a very free spirit willing to move when it was time to move. During the four hours he spoke you could hear a pin drop. I was so engrossed in the information pouring into my ears, as well as, having to pick my jaw up off the floor. It all made sense and it simply “clicked”. Afterwards I was running around saying “Oh my god, the world is not what I thought it was!”. And when I heard others tell me they knew about this stuff ten years ago? I thought; “Where the bloody hell have I been?”. Okay, now I’m interested and as everyone else did I bought the two books David had there at the time. After the line of people were gone I walked up and had them signed.

As a side note
Two years prior to this I was living a very celibate life as my world was work and my daughter and I loved it. I had not been with anyone intimately in nine years. I thought I had all the answers and was pretty much on cruise control. I led a very quiet life and loved being alone. So on this particular night a friend called and asked me to come out to this restaurant where they were giving away free romance ads and tickets to Neal Diamond. I thought; “okay, time to get out”. Long story short. I remember sitting in the booth in the restaurant while these papers were being passed out. It was the form to fill out for these romance ads that will go in the newspaper. We received three weeks free. Anyway, I sat there staring at this paper thinking what am I doing here? I looked over to my friend with a puzzled look on my face then began writing. Another side note: I had always wanted the next man in my life to be British. This is what I wrote:

English accent wanted. 5’10” – 6’2″. Lover of animals. Spiritual not religious. Vegetarian and so forth. I was very specific and said; “If I can’t have that then I am happy being single”. By the way I won the tickets to Neil Diamond and gave them to my parents.

Continuing from above

As I walked away from the table where David was signing books I turned to look at him (having an English accent sort of caught my attention) and said to myself … “naah”. There was no attraction and not interested. I was so focussed on the information and wanted to bring as many people back to the next event in November to put them in front of this information.

The next day I was sitting in the room listening to another speaker when something began to ‘tap’ my consciousness, as I call it, to look towards the back of this room. It was like being aware of being aware? So there standing alone, was David also listening to this speaker. I felt an urge to go and thank him, so, I excused myself passing the others in my row walking back to do this. I approached David and simply said “I just wanted to thank you”. He turned to me saying “You’re welcome” then looked back to the front of the room at the speaker. I went back to my seat and that was it.

David was speaking in Phoenix after this and I thought to go and see him. I did not make it because the focus was on my business and bringing more people to Aruba in November to hear what I just heard. And more relevent is that I was not meant to see him in Phoenix.

Aruba.
So now Aruba comes in November, three months later. I bring a few people with me and all is good. Before going on I will sidetrack to share what happened between Jamaica and Aruba. David had gone back to England and saw a psychic by the name of Derek Acorah. What transpired is amazing and blowing my world apart for I thought it was real until I got the five-sense level of it uncovered in Jamaica. I did not even know what a chakra was. It was in Liverpool where David sat with Derek for this reading. It was recorded and I have a copy of it on tape because David sent it to me in December of 1997.

This is what was said:

Derek: You’re going to meet a lady.
I hope she does not mind me saying this: ‘She has light hair but it’s not always been hers.’
This could be the one David, this could be the one.

David: Where is she?
Derek: Not here. America. She is in America.

He continues on ….
1. You have met her before but not been intimate.
2. It’s as if you are joined at the hip.
3. You will be asked out on the night or day to dinner.
4. She is very slender.
5. She will be wearing a mauve gown.
6. She knows everyone.
7. She is rich … but what is rich? (rich in the heart?)

So, this is what was said and this is what happened in Aruba, 3 months later.

On the Friday night everyone gathered around the pool in the evening as everyone arrived. David was writing “The Biggest Secret” and thought to come down for a moment then was going to go back to his room to finish writing. As he was coming out of the hotel and down the stairs, I was coming up.

It was here we crossed paths again as he said ‘hello’ and so did I. The difference is, he stopped. He told me later that the reason he did was because as soon as he saw me he thought; “Oh my god, could this be the one?”. If he had not stopped we would have been two ships passing in the night. That was not to be – for something was happening beyond this reality. We walked back down to the little bar by the pool and talked for awhile. I could feel a strong connection beginning.
*You’ve met her before but not been intimate*

The next day I came to breakfast and we crossed paths once again. He commented on the dress I was wearing saying “Are you going to a wedding?”. For the ‘gown’ I had on did look like something one would wear to such an occassion. I am very feminine and always wear dresses. Well, 99.9999% of the time. Derek was off on the colour but that is okay. The ‘gown’ was not mauve but a pastel yellow.

*She will be wearing a mauve gown*

During the afternoon I came to David standing in the hallway and put my hand on his arm asking; “Would you like to come to dinner with a few of my friends and I tonight?”. He, of course, said ‘yes’.

*You will be asked out on the night or the day to dinner*

As we stood there people were walking by saying hello to both of us. I did know many.

*She knows everyone*

We had dinner that night, then afterwards went out on the pier where sitting at the end of this long walkway was a lovely open bar on the water. It was here that being joined at the hip and inseparable became as real as it gets.

*It’s as if you are joined at the hip*

It was in Aruba where I received more information. It was here where I began to expand rapidly ‘within’. What I have always felt inately began to make sense and words were being spoken that quantified these feelings I knew, yet, knew not how to explain them. It was incredibly powerful and synchronistic. Nothing could have stopped “us” from happening. There is so much more but felt to share this part of the experience and how David and I met. When we release and share ~ it has a healing effect and clears the field of energy with nothing to hide and is oh so freeing.

We were married and had twelve years of great beauty, love and most importantly … growth.
Years ago, I remember walking into the room saying to David;
“You have me in a box in your mind and I will not stay there”.
I was perceiving something which, I could explain today but could not then.

Although parted now, my love for David will not wain nor will my love for all of existence as I continue expanding my understandings of being here on this planet with absolute intention for PEACE and HARMONY. And even though I might fall every once in a while, it is LOVE that always picks me up.

Egypt.
On June 6th, 2007, I left my home in England for Egypt, which, was a huge turning point. I was being hit by what I would call aggressive and attacking ‘thought forms’. Fear was in a rage all around. And if I did not leave this environment my heart was going to stop for I could not breath and was going to die. My heart and energy field were being crushed. Literally. There was so much ‘fear’ around me and could not understand why? It was like being crucified without a trial to be heard, for noone was listening. I was truly on my own trying to protect many things.

If sorrow, sadness and excruciating pain could be painted with grace, depicting what it felt like, this would be it.

A new day is here.

My house was shattered and my world fell apart

I looked around and for the life of me could not find my heart

I was told to hold on, not to worry and it would be alright

Steady on girl, you have the key to unlock the door

As I continue to pick the pieces of myself up off the floor.

And if there really is such a thing called ‘life’?

For I am balancing on the wire.

Hanging by a thread

Then the wings that have been clipped,

On many a lonesome night

Will come back and find me once again.

For as a bird flies, so will I.

~ pamela

The pull to leave was intense. I sent an email in desperation to a friend not knowing where to turn saying “I have to get out of here”. He said “Where do you want to go?”. “I do not know?”

“Well, if you could go anywhere or do anything what would that be?”

I said: “I needed to put my feet in the sand by the ocean with wide open skies and air to breathe.
I wanted a hut not a hotel. Somewhere I had never been before. To be alone.
To go ‘within’ myself and to swim with wild dolphins.

Very soon afterwards, all I remember is opening an email and up comes this seemingly larger than life word EGYPT! Little did I know it was my friend who sent it to me along with two other ads that never caught my attention. It was an instant connection. I am ever so grateful and humbled for it seemed as if a big mother lioness picked me up by the nape of my neck and out of England she plopped me in Egypt for rest and recovery.

How I got there is almost a blur.

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”. “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” ~Lao Tzu

I changed directions.

It was June 6th, 2007 when I left and arrived at Marsa Shagra the eco-village on the Red Sea for what was to be the beginning of an amazing journey and my new home for the next six months.

I had originally booked this trip for two weeks and ended up staying for five weeks.
Funny enough, with a travel company called “Wild & Free”.

At the end of my five week stay I flew home to England where I began packing my belongings as I was moving to America. At some point while there I felt this incredible urge to go back to Egypt. The water and the dolphins were calling me. Strongly. I cannot tell you or explain the feeling. It just was. I dropped everything I was doing, left boxes in the front room of our flat with a note to my husband who was away, booked another four weeks and ended up staying for five months.

What evolved was six months of journalling, filming and swimming with wild dolphins in the Red Sea, as well as an Oceanic White Tip Shark, one on one and all alone. Experiencing telepathic communications and profound moments with them. I was facing and removing fears, letting go, freeing my mind, wiping my slate clean and going direct for answers and preparing for the next chapter of my life and a new beginning.

I began to trust and follow my intuition. I began to follow the strength of my heart. There was something working with me in unseen realms that I cannot explain. It was so beautiful, powerful and undeniably making sure I was going in the direction I was meant to go in.

I let go of ‘thinking’ too much. I let go of everything really. I began to pay attention to the signs. To enjoy the silence for I knew it was here all questions were answered. It was here there were no questions to be asked. I began to live in calmness. To be thankful for the earth that carried me. To smell the scent of the flowers in the breezes. To notice the little things. To hear the messages in the water gently flowing down a stream. To be grateful as life was passing by ever so quickly.

And most of all, to forgive. To forgive your’self’ first. To love your’self’. For, if one says they love another, yet, doth not love them’selves’ truly? Then one is a liar. To make any changes “out there”, it must begin “within”.

I was going with the flow knowing that I was heading into territories of massive change with love in my heart for everything that was happening. Removing fear, freeing my mind and following the compass within.

I was breaking patterns and habits and breaking free to be all that I AM.

It is said that “life” will only give you that which you can handle and no more. I am surprised I am still alive, yet found great strengths I never knew I had with each and every step along the way.

I fell in a deep hole clawing my way up trying to touch solid ground many times. Sometimes being kicked back down and thought I would take my last breath here and now … but something kept picking me up, telling me not to give up. And I haven’t. One things for sure, we are definately not alone and I am ever so grateful.

Know thyself. Forgive thyself and pass this forgiveness on to others. It is a magic moment when one slips into this feeling of ‘seeing’ just how simple peace in our collective Universe can be. It is merely a thought away.

What I learned through all the pains and sufferings became the greatest gifts I could have been given. I thank my brother Robert for giving me the first wake up call, I thank life for the second, I thank the gift of my near fatal accident for the third, and the cannon balls in my life?
Well, they taught me to fly.

Free Your Mind, Remove Fear and know You are not alone.
You are a magnificent being of pure immense energy, a being of light.
Do not waste your mind with trash. Keep it clean. All is good because we make it good.

Love, Pamela

“The repetitions in my life are merely a pattern seen,
Yet, the depth of the work unseen, carries on as a passion ever lasting.”

The telepathic experiences with the dolphins are in a book and film in pre-production and will be posted on this site when available. Please See Here for a Chapter. Thank you.

There is much more to all of this involving personal experiences into the holographic nature of life, how it speaks to us, how we are connected to everything and will be expressed and shared in depth in the book “Oceanheart” and film. Both living documents being created with great respect for all of life.

When I leave this place, this plane(t) earth and move on, I shall not leave behind any debris.
I shall leave it clean, in truth-speaking.
It has been challenging, painful, and extraordinarily beautiful. The journey for all has just begun.