FWMP@mac.com

Life so far on Earth

I was born at Luke Air Force Base, Arizona on January 3, 1960, growing up in Europe, that being England, Spain and Southern Bavaria, Germany. My father was a fighter pilot in the Air Force for twenty seven years, retiring in Phoenix in 1975 where I went all four years of High School. My father is the first one born in America from England. His mother was Norwegian and father English. My mother … Scottish, Irish, English.

Aunt Marion and Bette Davis
On another family note keeping it simple. I have a connection to Bette Davis by marriage. Her third husband, William Grant Sherry, is my Uncle who fathered Bette’s only natural child, BD. He married my Aunt Marion Richards who lived with Bette and Grant, working as the nursemaid to BD. This is a movie within a movie. The experiences Marion has shared with me about growing up in the Pasadena/Laguna area and the synchronistic meeting with Bette are moving, touching, endearing and awe inspiring. Leaving home at the age of sixteen, for many reasons, with a will, heart, kindness and spirit of an angel.

She told me that when she would see families together on the street or out in public, she would say to herself
“I wish I could have a family like that“. Incredible. A lady in her own right and someone I admire enormously.

I have witnessed shapeshifting reptilians, experienced entities on both sides of the spectrum from demons and the darkness to the most beautiful and highest of high and lightest of light among many other things. I know which path/focus and direction I’m taking!

A forever love
I was going to be a professional freestyle skier. Broke my leg at the age of 11
in Berchtesgaden, Southern Bavaria. Grew to have a love for the sport, was president of the Ski Club in High School and after graduating left straight away for Utah and Lake Tahoe to fulfil that dream.

Currently
I wish to fullfill, learn and create more purpose for my skills in the areas of videography, filmmaker, editor, writer, director, producer (in the creative sense not the administrative sense), dancer, poet, artist, author (writing a book due in the New Year 2010) and creative consultant. And someone who fervently desires PEACE in the hearts of all of life.

On My Way
I got married in 1987 to my first husband, Randy Buzzelli (in the music business) whom remains a very good friend to this day and is the father of our daughter, Alexandria,
who shares my birthday being born on January 3, 1988.

The Catalysts
The catalyst that really began my journey onto another path was when my world shattered beneath my feet in October of 1984 with the murder of my younger brother, Robert. He was twenty-three and I was twenty-four.
I went from one hundred pounds (100) to seventy eight (78) in one month. Broken hearts do exist.
This was a real tough one to get through and I almost didn’t make it.

I immediately put out to the universe all the questions … “Who Am I?”, “Why Am I here?”, “What is this about?”, “Where do I come from?” and “Where the hell did my little brother go?”

I was suicidal and did not want to be here anymore. I lost all will to live.
Breathing was torture and feeling my heart beat was a nightmare.
I died with my brother, however, senses were still in full operation.
At the same time feeling this way I never attempted anything because I do not like pain. Who does?
It just hurt to be alive. That is all.

I describe it this way.
I am standing on one side of a turbulent stream and the other side is total peace.
I could see it yet, could not quite reach it.
It took five years and sometimes I had one foot on the rock and one in the water dangling by a thread …
but I made it.

Five years later to the month (October), I was on my knees in my apartment praying to god to please let my heart stop when something that I cannot explain happened. There was some kind of an external intervention. It was so powerful. The only way to describe it, it was like an incredibly intense energy came and slapped me up the back side of my head like phooomph!

In an instant the dark world I lived in for the last five years slammed shut and … “Pamela” came back.

You could not put a cigarette paper between the “Pamela” that wished to die one minute and the “Pamela” that was now setting goals and attaining every single one of them.

My family was bewildered although now happy.

I later asked where is “free will”?
My ‘will’ at that time wanted to die.
Something intervened as if to say, nope, not your time to go for you have other things to do.
All I can say is we are not alone.

Robert came to me telepathically very profoundly in 1997 in Cancun.

Mother
My mother, Annis Elaine, crossed over from cancer on November 23, 2003 during a Total Solar Eclipse.
There is an amazingly intense, sad, excruciatingly painful, yet, beautiful story that flows alongside this involving a good friend (author) Dannion Brinkley, who played a pivotal part on this day at a critical moment helping the transition and letting go for my mother and all of us peacefully.

As my husband at the time, British Author David Icke, was speaking during a full day talk in North Carolina,
my mother was leaving her physical form in a hospice in Scottsdale, Arizona,
where I left her only two days before to meet up with David thinking I would see her again?
My mother was coming to me in dreams very profoundly, vividly and lucidly months prior to this.
She was calling. I shall share the full experience later as I do feel it will help others in many ways. During times such as this, I personally found that one of the greatest comforts one can have,
is knowing you are not alone.

Where Heavens Meet

Phew! Okay jump to:
I am living my life, cruising along quite happily, and on Jan 6th, 1997 was fired from my accounting position, which forced me into my own business that I was wanting to do for a while. What happened over the next few months and then years blew me away. It was as if my life was being directed down a very specific path. One door was closing and another opening leading me to where I am today.

It’s what it was

In 1997, August, “life” took me to Jamaica for a conference. It was here that I met David who was a speaker at the event. I had no idea who he was nor what was about to unfold for both of us.

Upon arrival at the event I sat with five hundred other people in a room to hear David, one of the many speakers there over the weekend. Personally, this was incredibly eye opening. Here I was thinking I had all the answers about life, based on a religious view that I found while searching for answers after the death of my brother, and along comes something that shatters all my beliefs and because I want ‘truth’ in life no matter what, I was willing to follow my heart wherever it guided me. I was not one to drop anchor on any belief, even though I had one at the time, for I am a very free spirit willing to move when it was time to move. During the four hours he spoke you could hear a pin drop. I was so engrossed in the information pouring into my ears, as well as, having to pick my jaw up off the floor. It all made sense and it simply “clicked”. Afterwards I was running around saying “Oh my god, the world is not what I thought it was!”. And when I heard others tell me they knew about this stuff ten years ago? I thought; “Where the bloody hell have I been?”. Okay, now I’m interested and as everyone else did I bought the two books David had at the time. After the line of people were gone I walked up and had them autographed.

As a side note
Two years prior to this I was living a very celibate life as my world was work and my daughter and I loved it. I had not been with anyone intimately in nine years. I thought I had all the answers and was pretty much on cruise control. I led a very quiet life and loved being alone. So on this particular night a friend called and asked me to come out to this restaurant where they were giving away free romance ads and tickets to Neal Diamond. I thought; “okay, time to get out”. Long story short. I remember sitting in the booth in the restaurant while these papers were being passed out. It was the form to fill out for these romance ads that will go in the newspaper. We received three weeks free. Anyway, I sat there staring at this paper thinking what am I doing here? I looked over to my friend with a puzzled look on my face then began writing. Another side note: I had always wanted the next man in my life to be British. This is what I wrote:

English accent wanted. 5′10″ - 6′2″. Lover of animals. Spiritual not religious. Vegetarian and so forth.
I was very specific and said; “If I can’t have that then I am happy being single”.

By the way I won the tickets to Neil Diamond and gave them to my parents.

Continuing from above

As I walked away from the table where David was signing books I turned to look at him (having an English accent sort of caught my attention as well as something else I can’t explain) and said to myself … “naah”. There was no attraction and not interested. I was so focussed on the information and wanted to bring as many people back to the next event in November to put them in front of this man.

The next day I was sitting in the room listening to another speaker when something began to ‘tap’ my consciousness, as I call it, to look towards the back of this room. It was like being aware of being aware? So there, standing alone, was David also listening to this speaker. I felt an urge to go and thank him, so, I excused myself passing the others in my row, walking back to do this. I approached David and simply said “I just wanted to thank you”. He turned to me saying “You’re welcome” then looked back to the front of the room at the speaker. I went back to my seat and that was it.

David was speaking in Phoenix after this and I thought to go and see him. I did not make it because my focus was on my business and bringing more people to Aruba in November to hear David. And more relevent is that I was not meant to see him in Phoenix.

Aruba
So now Aruba comes in November, three months later. I bring a few people with me and all is good. Before going on I will sidetrack to share what happened between Jamaica and Aruba. David had gone back to England and saw a psychic by the name of Derek Acorah. What transpired is amazing and blowing my world apart for I thought it was real until I got the five-sense level of it uncovered in Jamaica. I did not even know what a chakra was. Well, I knew what it was by my feelings but had no name to these things.

It was in Liverpool where David sat with Derek for this reading. It was recorded and I have a copy of it on tape because David sent it to me in December of 1997.

It was here we crossed paths again as he said ‘hello’ and so did I. The difference is, he stopped. He told me later that the reason he did was because as soon as he saw me he thought; “Oh my god, could this be the one?”. If he had not stopped we would have been two ships passing in the night. That was not to be - for something was happening beyond this reality. We walked back down to the little bar by the pool and talked for awhile. I could feel a strong connection beginning.
*You’ve met her before but not been intimate*

The next day I came to breakfast and we crossed paths once again. He commented on the dress I was wearing saying “Are you going to a wedding?”. For the ‘gown’ I had on did look like something one would wear to such an occassion. I am very feminine and always wear dresses. Well, 99.9999% of the time. Derek was off on the colour but that is okay. The ‘gown’ was not mauve but a pastel yellow.

*She will be wearing a mauve gown*

During the afternoon I came to David standing in the hallway and put my hand on his arm asking; “Would you like to come to dinner with a few of my friends and I tonight?”.
He, of course, said ‘yes’.

*You will be asked out on the night or the day to dinner*

As we stood there people were walking by saying hello to both of us. I did know many in my business.

*She knows everyone*

We had dinner that night, then afterwards went out on the pier where sitting at the end of this long walkway was a lovely open bar on the water. It was here that being joined at the hip and inseperable
became as real as it gets.

*It’s as if you are joined at the hip*

It was in Aruba where I received more information. It was here where I began to expand rapidly ‘within’. What I have always felt inately began to make sense and words were being spoken that quantified these feelings I knew, yet, knew not how to explain them.

It was incredibly powerful and synchronistic. Nothing could have stopped “us” from happening. There is so much more but felt to share this part of the experience and how David and I met. When we release and share ~ it has a healing effect and clears the field of energy. Transparency is what I wish for. No more hiding in the shadows.
Stop gossiping or imagining what is or isn’t for looks can be deceiving. Come out and speak your truth.

“The first duty of love is to listen.”
Paul Tillich

We had eleven years of great beauty, love and most importantly … growth.
Years ago, I remember walking into the room saying to David;
“You have me in a box in your mind and I will not stay there”.
I was perceiving something which, I could explain today but could not then.

Although parted now, my love for David will not wain nor will my love for all of existence as I continue expanding my understandings of being here on this planet with absolute intention for PEACE and HARMONY. And even though I might fall every once in a while, it is LOVE that always picks me up.

Egypt
On June 6th, 2007, I left my home in England for Egypt, which, was a huge turning point.
I was being hit by what I would call aggressive and attacking ‘thought forms’ and if I did not leave this environment my heart was going to stop for I could not breath and I was going to die.
My heart and energy field were being crushed. Literally. Fear was in a rage all around me and I could not understand why? It was like being crucified, without a trial to be heard, for noone was listening.
I was truly on my own trying to protect many things.

If I could paint a picture of what it felt like, this would be it.

A new day is coming

My house was shattered and my world fell apart

I looked around and for the life of me could not find my heart

I was told to hold on, not to worry and it would be alright

Steady on girl, you have the key to unlock the door

As I continue to pick the pieces of myself up off the floor.

And if there really is such a thing called ‘life’?

For I am balancing on the wire.

Hanging by a thread

Then the wings that have been clipped,

On many a lonesome night

Will come back and find me once again.

For as a bird flies, so will I.

~ pamela

The pull to leave was intense.
I sent an email in desperation to a friend not knowing where to turn saying “I have to get out of here”.

He said “Where do you want to go?”.

“I do not know?”

“Well, if you could go anywhere or do anything what would that be?”

I said: “I needed to put my feet in the sand by the ocean with wide open skies and air to breathe.
I wanted a hut not a hotel. Somewhere I had never been before. To be alone.
To go ‘within’ myself and to swim with wild dolphins.

Very soon afterwards, all I remember is opening an email and up comes this seemingly larger than life word EGYPT! Little did I know it was my friend who sent it to me along with two other ads that never caught my attention. It was an instant connection.

I am ever so grateful and humbled for it seemed as if a big mother lioness picked me up by the nape of my neck and out of England she plopped me in Egypt for rest and recovery.

How I got there is almost a blur.

It was June 6th, 2007 when I left and arrived at Marsa Shagra the eco-village on the Red Sea for what was to be the beginning of an amazing journey and my new home for the next six months.

I had originally booked this trip for two weeks and ended up staying for five weeks.
Funny enough, with a travel company called “Wild & Free”.

At the end of my five week stay I flew home to England where I began packing my belongings as I was moving to America. At some point while there I felt this incredible urge to go back to Egypt. The water and the dolphins were calling me. Strongly. I cannot tell you or explain the feeling. It just was. I dropped everything I was doing, left boxes in the front room of our flat with a note to my husband who was away, booked another four weeks and ended up staying for five months.

What evolved was six months of journalling, filming and swimming with wild dolphins in the Red Sea, as well as an Oceanic White Tip Shark, one on one and all alone. Experiencing telepathic communications and profound moments with them. I was facing and removing fears, letting go, freeing my mind, wiping my slate clean and going direct for answers and preparing for the next chapter of my life and a new beginning.

I began to trust and follow my intuition. I began to follow the strength of my heart. There was something working with me in unseen realms that I cannot explain. It was so beautiful, powerful and undeniably making sure I was going in the direction I was meant to go in.

I let go of ‘thinking’ too much. I let go of everything really. I began to pay attention to the signs. To enjoy the silence for I knew it was here all questions were answered. It was here there were no questions to be asked. I began to live in calmness. To be thankful for the earth that carried me. To smell the scent of the flowers in the breezes. To notice the little things. To hear the messages in the water gently flowing down a stream. To be grateful as life was passing by ever so quickly.

And most of all … to forgive. I cannot love you if I first do not love myself. When I love me, I love you. When you love you, you love me. To make any changes “out there” it must begin “within”.

I was going with the flow knowing that I was heading into territories of massive change with love in my heart for everything that was happening. Removing fear, freeing my mind and following the compass within.

I was breaking patterns and habits and breaking free to be all that I AM.

It is said that “life” will only give you that which you can handle and no more. I am surprised I am still alive, yet found great strengths I never knew I had with each and every step along the way. I fell in a deep hole clawing my way up trying to touch solid ground many times. Sometimes being kicked back down and thought I would take my last breath here and now … but something kept picking me up, telling me not to give up. And I haven’t.
One things for sure, we are definately not alone and I am ever so grateful.

Know thyself. Forgive thyself and pass this forgiveness on to others. It is a magic moment when one slips into this feeling of ’seeing’ just how simple peace in our collective Universe can be. It is merely a thought away.

What I learned through all the pains and sufferings became the greatest gifts I could have been given. I thank my brother for giving me the first wake up call and I thank David for the second and the cannon balls in my life – well, they taught me to fly.

Free Your Mind, Remove Fear and know You are not alone.
You are a magnificent being of pure immense energy, a being of light.
Do not waste your mind with trash. Keep it clean. All is good because we make it good.

Love, Pamela

The telepathic experiences with the dolphins are in a book I am writing due to come out in winter of 2010 or more likely early 2011 with information soon to be posted on this site. See Here for a Chapter from the book. Thank you.

Side Note: As I flew over the Mediterranean from England and entered the lands of Egypt,
As clear as day a telepathic message came to me with no words, just an energy saying basically:
“I needed to get grounded. I needed to ground myself. Plant my feet back on the earth”

Next, what ran through me after hearing this initial message on the plane,
were overlapping telepathic thoughts, explaining that the reason I had to ground
was because I had things to fullfill within myself. This is a very personal journey.
I had to realize my gifts, gain confidence, stand strong and I had a heart to give
which would help lift humanity in this physicality”.
Something along these lines. Very, very difficult to explain for it is deep.
I just know what it meant and means on some level.
There is much more to all of this involving personal experiences
into the holographic nature of life, how it speaks to us, how we are connected to everything
and will be expressed and shared in depth in my book “Oceanheart”.
A living document being created with great respect for all of life.

P.S. To anyone who might be going through any sort of pain, suffering or hurt please if I may share with you something I am going through as well, to let you know you are not alone and it will get better. You are a magnificent being surrounded by the power of love. My greatest empathy goes to anyone who has ever had a brain injury. Be Well!